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Youre the reason God created the middle finger. "We're you born in a highway? I will slap you so hard even Google wont be able to find you. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. When youre short on conversation starters or looking for an icebreaker, saying something out of left field can show that youre not afraid to be goofy and you dont take yourself too seriously. The TikTok itself is pretty basic, showing Mason and a friend sucking soda with the words, "Girls if you need toxic things to say to boys check the comments" hovering above them. 345 other terms for toxic- words and phrases with similar meaning. If Your Mom Ever Says These 19 Things, She Might Be Toxic - Bustle It doesn't matter what gender you are, butts are generally a huge weakness for everyone! (Theyll probably respond No, we dont do that) Oh, so you dont want random people calling you all day? when you try to boil a lobster, it screams before, bc it saw your face. The stock market. If I had a dollar for ever time I wanted to throw you out a window, I'd have more money than Bill Gates. A friend like you is like a good bra: supportive, comfortable, hard to find, uplifting, and always close to my heart! "Oh, are you triggered?" 31. Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick. Lists. You can speak english?!? Just remember that you dont want to come across as too clingy. I like to be an example for others. Whats understood doesnt need to be explained. Thanks for helping me understand that. Another year older, but are you getting any wiser? One day, I hope youll choke on the crap you talk. And Im leaving early. One of the most toxic phrases you will hear from your partner, especially when your emotions are high, is the advice to let it go. Introverts know this, and so do those who know them. I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. 14. You sound like one of those bleeding-heart liberals., 12. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. He believes in bringing about positive change through good-natured humor and innovative technology. 34 of People's Most Relatable and Funny Toxic Traits - nami I found a spot for you. A lot of people have no talent. Then vote for it at the page end. Dont delay. I have seen people like you. I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in awhile, but youre really abusing that privilege. Not everyone is a natural-born comedian, but that doesnt mean you cant add a splash of humor and fun to your conversations. No amount of self-editing can fix the massive failure your autobiography would be. After all, I am always kind to animals. Time to take your conversation game even further. You should try it sometime. Forget about the pastyou cant change it. I was just imagining the day of your birth in my head. Too bad you cant photoshop your ugly personality, It looks like your hair made friends with the dust bunnies under my bed, Your parents got a great job offer at the disappointment club, Ur so fat even dora couldnt explore what was around u, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns, funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. Some people hatch into beautiful butterflies. Happy Independence Day! But I had to pay admission. Get a good chuckle out of random telemarketing calls by surprising them with one of these ridiculous responses. Im going to call on someone else. You hear that? Im sure youll enjoy that bonus content. Hahahaha sorry, just thinking about how I used to date you. Your brain is working overtime today. you're IQ is the reason humans arnt on mars yet. "A toxic relationship is a dynamic between two or . Recognize that not everyone has the same sense of humor. You look so good. Jun 8, 2019 - Explore Victoria Nguyen's board "Roblox and funny quotes" on Pinterest. When they said grow a pair, they didnt mean for you to have kids. Im not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you. Group assignments make me understand why Batman works alone. You have a face only a mother could love. Isnt there a bullet somewhere you could be jumping in front of? Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. Id agree with you but then wed both be wrong. Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence. I'm not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you. The series of mental backflips I had to do to try and understand your point should have broken my neck. Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000. So, we say something to put them in their place.. 21. I would roast you, but my mom says I'm not allowed to burn trash. It says a lot and nothing good about a guy who would immediately jump to this insulting conclusion. (& Other Questions! "You're being dramatic," or "Quit being emotional," "Why are you so difficult," "You make things so hard on me," "someone else has it worse, so stop crying." -VividTangerine. I would never date you. Another way to say Toxic? Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? The song Army of One is an ode to your loneliness. The 0.01% of germs are afraid of contracting stupidity from you. He also chases his tail for entertainment. The world is beautiful! No, no. Therere many pessimists who got that way by investing in an optimist. Im surprised your teeth arent brown from all the shit talking you do. Listen to your doubts. It suggests that only a woman who is being adversely affected by her female hormones during a particularly hormonal time of the month would dare be otherwise than docile and agreeable. XOXO. The middle one has to be you, An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past.. Try this: Call your friend and let them know you cant talk right now. Best friends eat your lunch. 20. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. How To Break Up With Someone Toxic/Narcissistic Safely And Never Look Back, The Best Outfits From Daisy Jones And The Six That Make Me Wish It Was 1975, Signs You Lack Self-Love (And How To Develop It), Narcissists Cause Cognitive Dissonance Heres How to Destroy It, For Good, 5 Powerful Boundaries To Counter Passive-Aggressive Narcissists. Maybe we can invite them over and, together, youd constitute one working brain cell. Roses are red, violets are blue, the trash is dumped and so are you. I think theyre onto something. it can be hard to notice that insults are actually harmful not just playful fun. An old teacher asked her student: If I say I am beautiful, which tense is that? The student replied: Its obviously past. If you like the, A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. Men or women might use this expression to goad another man into doing something they want him to do, whether its in his best interests or not. Advertisement. I want them to be proud of me! If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. In case your favorite roast isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. Need some hilarious things to say via text or IRL? Setting 100 alarms that I simply ignore every morning; Joining Zoom calls one minute late Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. Pick one of these 61 most savage roasts as your favorite and use it when necessary. Dont get bitter, just get better. Alyssa Edwards. Toxic (song): "Toxic" is a song recorded by American singer Britney Spears, for her fourth studio album In the Zone (2003). Get the best comebacks and insults below: Here are the best insults to use on your worst enemies, or more importantly, your best friends: If youre going to use an insult, at least use a clever one. I would say my heart, but its just not as big. Glad I could be of assistance. Whichwaydid you come in? 4. There are so many paths in life. If you want to look thin and young, hang out with some fat old people. Why didnt you choose the dark alleyway? If you were a library book, Id check you out. I wanted to live life without many regrets. Your talking to me? Check your lipstick before you come for me. Naomi Smalls, If you want anything said, ask a man. Try these funny comments with your friends. Its a real, diagnosable mental health disorder, and those who live with it arent just bipolar on certain days. I know players in this game can be really toxic at times but that was definitely . Wow, your maker really didnt waste time giving you a personality, huh? 2 Reply BIGGERBOI69 4 yr. ago Common sense is like deodorantthe people who need it most never seem to use it. Then please vote on your favorite roast below because your opinion matters. 100 Good Comebacks Savage Comebacks in an Argument - Ponly A sense of humor is being able to laugh at something that would actually make you mad if it happened to you. When someone dismisses another human being as useless, the intention is to make them feel worthless as if their death would do the world a bigger favor than their continued existence. Tags. Im out of my mind be back in five minutes! Youre like my fridge: always full of yourself yet offering an abundance of empty calories. Dont be ashamed of who you are. Yo mamma so fat that Thanos had to snap twice, you sooo ugly when i saw you i thought i was dreaming, when your mom cuts onions and crys its because onions remind her of u, Your mum is so fat that when i pictured her in my head she broke my neck, people die everyday after seeing your face ya know, Yo mama is so old this meme is 90 yrs younger then her, your so ugly that i thought you were a posem, rahh most of your makeup can be cleaned with a wipe shut up, Is it just me or, is my roast more popular then you. Dont pretend your feeling of fullness after that chimichanga gives you the right to call yourself fat as an expression of solidarity, either. You have no idea what youve done! Dismissing someone elses idea or thoughts with these words is hurtful and offensive. These funny things to say are great. Dont worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. Here are some of the most-liked, and RUTHLESS, comments: 1 . Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Any fan of the game will find these memes hilarious and relatable . Until then, Im glad we have each other. For example, you come home one day all fired up because someone at work infuriated you. But midget is inaccurate, insulting, and never okay. Your hairline look's like the KFC manager, The reason your mom cry's when cutting onion's because you turned out to be a big FAILURE. I'm busy; you're ugly. Love you! Your face is fine but you have to put a bag over that personality. If youre going to be a smart ass, first you have to be smart, otherwise youre just an ass. 12. Large and in charge isnt your excuse to be a fat asshole. What do boyfriends and mascara have in common? I dont want to rain on your parade. Can I have your name and phone number to call you back? Too bad your parents took it literally. Yeah? If looking good were a crime, you would have been arrested several times a day. When u were born ur mum said that u where a treasure! You win! Shouldn't you be in the sewers because I've thought that you were a rat. And we enjoy feeling superior, even a little bit, to someone who has made us feel smaller, less important, or less intelligent. Youre entitled to your incorrect opinion. Its the easy recourse of a coward who feels perfectly comfortable arrogantly dismissing the words of someone who isnt there to challenge him. Usually my rule is 3 strikes and youre out, but you were out of my mind as soon as you started spewing your bullshit. They clap their hands over their eyes. nouns. But the expression, Its all in your head, shouldnt be used when theres still a possibility (however remote) that the complaint is due to a real health problem. Youve got something on your face. Here are the 80+ best insults to destroy your enemies, or more importantly, your best friends. I was just calling to let you know about your car insurance warranty. I cant find them anywhere. if your gonna be such a two faced jerk at least make one of them prettier, You so ugly , you made Kanye West , go east to avoid you, your mom so fat wen she. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. When you disappear, its a beautiful day. They know something is wrong, but they dont know what. I respect the opinion of everyone who agrees with me. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Please, dont stop, keep talking. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. And thats the best compliment I can give. Id finally get some peace and quiet. It will remind your enemies not to mess with you. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. They host a movie night every . I thought you were the monster under my bed. I feel so sorry for your parents. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. Because thats how I feel right now. Dont place your self-worth in others hands. You're so ugly that your mom said, "whos baby is that..?" This question can surely make her smile after getting to know that she is the reason for your happiness. Forget about the presentI didnt get you one! You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. I thought you only spoke trash. Thats where most accidents happen. Boring texts are the bane of everyones existence. With all those years of wisdom, youd think you would have more wrinkles by now. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately weve been married for 10 years. Im jealous of people who dont know you. If you dont like me, acquire some taste. If youre offended by my opinion, you should hear the ones I keep to myself. Because youve got my interest. 5. Youre one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without the Facebook reminder. You should really come with a warning label. Once youve been on the receiving end, you have a better understanding of how powerful words can be both to build people up and to tear them down.. And may your thoughtfulness and compassion influence everything you do today. I bet your face would melt if I put a candle to it, because all it is, is plastic! Cherry Blossoms In . Continue the joke, please. Last weeks test was on shapes and colors, but it appears like you might have to revisit that after todays conversation. Go back to Party City, where you belong! Phi Phi OHara. Im so glad we have brown cows, otherwise, there wouldnt be any chocolate milk. Like my dog. Jan 23, 2021 - Explore Leann's board "Mean things to say.", followed by 659 people on Pinterest. When everything in life is coming your way, youre probably in the wrong lane. Everyone makes mistakes. Youre like asthma. That must suck. Its so cute when you try to talk about things you dont understand. Check out these 140 one-liners for extra funniness! If laughter was the best medicine your face would cure the world, my phone battery lasts longer than ur relationships, If I wanted to commit suicide, I would just jump from your ego to your IQ. If I had a face like yours, Id sue my parents. How much of a refund do you expect on your head, since its empty? Roses are red, Violets are blue. Best friends eat your lunch. All mistakes are fixable, yet you arent. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. It is never okay for a non-African-American person to use this word. Text me when you wake up. I've never heard that particular insult before. Regardless of how rigid someone might be with regard to grammar rules or political ideologies, its not okay to dismiss them as a Nazi, as though their rigidity or attention to detail made them soulless or evil. It looks like she went into Claires Boutique, fell on a sale rack and said, Ill take it! You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. A woman passing by remarks: If you were any sort of a gentleman, youd lift your hat to a lady. He replies: If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself., Whenever your ex says youll never find someone like me, the answer to that is: Thats the point.. Whether youre trying to be more witty, flirty, or be seen as an amateur comedian, making people laugh is a social superpower. Lasts longer in bed, too. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. Id explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dumbass Dictionary at home. Well, you smell like hot dog water. When I see your face, theres not a thing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. "I'm gracing you with my presence.". Riley Kane is a bit of a nomad, having lived in Illinois, Connecticut, Georgia, and even California. I look ugly? I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. I used to be addicted to soap, now I'm clean! Queer Movie Night is part of the Kansas City Center for Inclusion (KCCI). OH MY GOD, Ive been waiting to hear from you all day. Is part 2 of your argument coming out soon or is that it? Butts are nice. Good. Did I hurt your ego? Noah wrote Allie 365 letters, so I think you can text me back. Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Ive never been a great cook, but I still know how to. "I feel so fat right now." 7 Best Mean Roast Jokes For Friends, Brothers, And Almost Everyone Else. I'm just happy that you can construct sensible sentences now. Youre enough of an asshat as it is. You are the architect of your life. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Is there an app I can download to make you disappear? I didnt change. You can be anything you wantexcept good looking. Sorry that I'm not playing my best right now." to which he responded, "I'm glad you lost him and I hope even more people in your family die, including yourself.". Thank you for calling! Why is it acceptable for you to be an idiot but not for me to point it out? Roses are red; violets are blue. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. What can I do for you? If you want to shut someone down when they start to get mean, you need to use one of these perfect comebacks: If you want to get the last word into an argument, you need to use these great jokes: Dont hold yourself back from saying what youre thinking. I used to think I was indecisive, but now Im not really sure. OH MY GOD! Why arent shorts half the price of pants? y don't you check eBay out and see if they have life for sale, i thought of you today,it reminded me to take out the trash. So please do vote or expand thisroast list with your own mean creation. It will make you appear strong. Ill marry your brother just to be in your family. I applaud your effort, but I think Im the only one in the audience. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers.