I was just sure my wife and son were either missing or dead. couch their controlling tendencies as worry and concern, because they know their victims will want to soothe and appease them, because they are just super nice worry-wart spouses who just really, truly, are so *concerned*. And the wife discussing it as though its a reasonable position makes me SAD. The OP should do both. husband doesn t want to go on family vacation Figure you stop as often as baby feeds (which is every 3 hours for us.) My husband is a bit more of a homebody than I am, and he very rarely travels for work. In fact, couples counseling can be a useful path to helping a partner address individual issues that are affecting the partnership. For me, the issues here are 1) input from friends is useful to inform ones own feelings, not make demands of ones partner by committee, and 2) ultimately, the person most affected by the demands is in the best position to make the right judgment call. By in linseneintopf mit kartoffeln. I knew that Counsling was the best step but I needed professional advice to confirm my thoughts. I dont think anyone is acting like they havent heard the reputation, were just saying its silly and outdated. This is a relationship problem, not a work problem. That is the hallmark of a controlling person. If he gets therapy and can get his anxiety and toxic masculinity under control, that would be one thing. Try to stop expecting reasonable behaviour from your spouse when hes in this anxious state. You know, because men never get kidnapped or roofied. I go there once or twice a year for my relaxing vacation. If my partner acted like he thought he got a vote on whether I was allowed to do things, especially things relating to my career, Id laugh him out of the relationship so fast hed get whiplash. He never once demanded I not go, or made me miserable the whole length of my trip, just because hed be less anxious if I was home. Immediate marriage counseling is required and if he wont go, see a counselor yourself. The point being that because he cares about you, he will do whatever he can to make his relationship with you as strong as possible. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Counseling perhaps. Pressuring/guilting him into not going? Im glad you left that loser. I cant speak for anyone but IMHO a little travel, twice a year or so is fine and take your spouse if you can but this several overnights monthly is not what I signed up for. Its either anxiety or abuse, or both, or neither; and none of those things address the husbands *behaviour* or the OPs next steps. But Im not lazy I just love my wife and after 8 yrs of marriage Im worried shes bored with me. We are leaving Saturday for a vacation on Florida. But yeah, were both supportive of the other taking trips. Usluge graevinskih radova niskogradnje. Maybe OP married him? On which I shared my personal experience and directed to resources where these be explored further. At night, the most fun people have is maybe a different ink at a nearby bar otherwise theyre too tired and ttying to get their shit together for the next day ir for tomorrows flight. If yes, how does he handle those trips? Hes already proven himself to be irrational, I think his presence will not help LW even a little. I dont have anything else to add to what everyone else has said except that when youre there, I HIGHLY recommend going to Gordon Ramsays BURGR at the Planet Hollywood Hotel. He will tell me if something is wrong as I will. simple path graph example; tahoe blue vodka costco; emt patient assessment cheat sheet pdf Alternar men. My husband nearly had to go to Vegas for a conference a couple of months ago (were in the UK so its pretty far!) Marriage counseling is good for me so I know how to commute to her and not roll my eyes and whisper not this again when she does go off the on a tangent. Did you say, thanks for confirming that I need to get away from you immediately & forever? hahahah! What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. At some level, I doubt he even realizes at this point whats going on. For example, phone #: 123-333-4567. same. !1 into a discussion? But other things may be reasonable eg nightly call ins and letting husband know that she is not going to call or answer his calls during the day. My mouth just kept falling wider and wider open. Hes been working through them and he was much better during my last work trip. It may not necessarily be abusive, but it is controlling it doesnt get a pass just because other people would do it. even though this event is in Las Vegas, XCorp still expects its employees to hold themselves to our high standard of professionalism, My team goes to DC every year for a conference and I always tell them something like, The conference schedule is packed and unfortunately were not going to have any time for sightseeing or tourism. Its like I encouraged a learned behavior. I go on frequent trips completely by myself, or with girlfriends, and he is not at all jealous/controlling (he doesnt love travel like I do which is why hes not going with, suits us fine). I find her a little insane in terms of worrying. It comes across as so controlling. You are one strong person, and thanks for sharing your story! If anything those are probably among the safer places in the country. Learning new response skills can only help her overall situation. Yeah the strip can be crazy but so can Disney World. If we could afford flying we would have. I was thinking the same thing. Can you tell mewhat todo?Maya. He needs to get over this, though if for no other reason than the financial security of the family. Thats a bright, flashing red sign. He is asking the wrong people. Then we went to Hoover Dam on a tour. Since its also a town that does very well at marketing itself as a destination for conferences (their facilities and amenities are really good, and I imagine their pricing is great because of demand is high enough to keep them low) then it makes sense that your work is choosing it as a place to send the managers since it sounds like an out of town conference is generally a thing they need to do. The idea of where we are in danger is terribly skewed in the US. My associatons annual conference rotates between about six places, and even in big cities like Chicago and Philly we need to use three nearby hotels to have enough meeting rooms and hotel rooms. We are both off work for the summer so we can easily split up the car ride and stop and get a hotel for the night along the way. Whether its legitimate is pretty much beside the point. Your company wouldnt put you in harms way, and your husband should trust you enough to no cheat or do something vegasy. That I was RIGHT! I would bet money he didnt tell everyone else the same story he told me. But not the end of the world. BUT, I dont actually think thats the most likely explanation for his issues. I cant quite tell from this letter if he does yet or notnor if its a true anxiety issue or straight-up manipulative, controlling behavior. : Dont bring your kids to The Thunder Down Under that show doesnt have anything to do with the weather) but its pretty safe, relatively speaking. This is a great space to write long text about your company and your services. Sometimes, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas because it was incredibly boring, like three days of being in windowless conference rooms. I worked 100 hours in 8 days. He called to tell me he won a bunch of money at Black Jack and was getting free drinks. Yeah Im trying to tell myself this kind of misconception is the kindest possible explanation. This. It might even be a wonderful idea, under the right circumstances. 27 Family Vacation Ideas for a Trip They'll Never Forget And not for couples counselling, either she needs to work on strategies to deal with him. How Vacations Can Help or Harm Your Relationship Did he not get the memo thats not how dating works. Not sure which update youre looking atshe says she meant wouldnt in that sentence, which means exactly what Coffee Lover is saying. When I go Im all about getting to as many different and awesome restaurants as humanly possible, and sitting by a pool with a book, when some of my friends go its about the nightlife, when my husband goes its about the sportsbook (this was my long way of saying that I agree with you). Whats wrong with disembark? he needs to straighten hisstuffout. In either case though, go on the trip. Then maybe, if you can swing it, a weekend trip there for the two of you would be a good idea? Dont engage with his arguments. You dont have to have cause to break up with someone! Certainly the OP needs to be careful with couselors. Sogoahead and book that trip, and then make sure you spend asmuch time relaxing aspossible before your departure. Theyre both really worst-case-scenarios and things that happen *to* the OP. It sounds like theres a lot you two have to work through but if his primary concern is for your personal safety, as other folks have mentioned, Las Vegas is actually pretty safe for a big city. One of my favorite business trips was a 3-day solo trip to Vegas. You can use this space to go into a little more detail about your company. We went to the Grand Canyon, went ziplining in the mountains and had a great without ever stepping in a casino. This is a pretty classic controlling partner move. Thoughts? This giant conference centers attached to hotels are a dime a dozen in Vegas, tons of flights from everywhere around the country go to Vegas and there are always deals on those flights, it just honestly makes sense to plan conferences and business trips to Vegas, especially if theyre for very large events. Also, in some (not all) work situations, it would be quite weird and out of step for someone to bring their spouse along. Las Vegas facilities can serve dinner to 5000+ people in less than 30 minutes without breaking a sweat. Ill take bizarrely leading questions for 600, Alex. Well there it is. should I tell my coworker about our colleagues criminal record, I deeply regret joining my companys leadership program, and more, my company is cutting my overworked teams pay as punishment for mistakes. On the flip side however, I do know some couples who havent spent a night apart in 20+ years. OP, I saw one of your responses saying your husband is otherwise kind. Right? My SO has been to more conferences in Vegas than I think anywhere else because of the ease with which hotel rooms can be acquired. In that couples case, I believe the wife was worried about being left alone at home, so the husband invited the wife to come with him on his trip, and at first she was planning to join him, but then her anxiety subsided and she decided to stay home and get together with friends in the hometown instead. At such time as we see abuse brought up as gratuitously as anxiety is, you might just have a point. It is. Its a lot different than when I first went in 1989, but even then it was quite suitable (ideal, actually) for a business conference. One day was outside. I go to Vegas twice a year for fun, and while you can get into the seedier side of it IF YOU WANT TO, its also very, VERY easy to not get into it all. either. Dont try totalk yourself into thinking that itdoesnt matter orthat they didnt mean anything byit. w/o massage $45, pools, hot tubs, steam, sauna, nibbles.