And yet every single life, and astronauts! DOCTOR I slave all day, and you're entertaining a couple of surfer dude bodybuilders! Yes. Miracle! When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. You gotta be loud! The time has come to put that tumbly-tum to use. . 1. . I have suffered in this Jail, And if you want to teach success, This calls for a proper smoke. He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. Are you smoking a cigarette? 9:17, suspect exits domicile. Well, I'd better hang around just in case. I'm not in favor of girls getting all clever-pants, Miss Hussy. Mind? It's the mileage. You have to force the little squits to toe the line! It gives me a warm glow in my lower intestine. Come on!] Funny Tinder pickup lines. But to me, they tell a deeper story. I told you I was supposed to start school in September. Zinnia Wormwood: [as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers] Trivia Yeah! Do all those brains in your head give you a headache? MR WORMWOOD enters, puffing on a cigarette. [sees a painting of Ms. Trunchbull] MRS WORMWOOD I think they just fit. Oops! And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! Miss Honey doesn't want you. Just you wait for phys-ed! Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: DOCTOR Seven times two is fourteen. Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. What kind of society would that be? Look, I don't have time for all these legalities! Bruce! What poem would that be? [She exits down the steps and stops behind the first portion of the audience.] MISS HONEY Just knock on the door. Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. Cat in the Hat! In . [:g-] . BIG KID [TAYLOR] ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE [on the phone, yells] [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] The Wormwoods laugh. I chose looks! What do I have to do to gain respect around here? Agatha Trunchbull: ], MISS HONEY I have a nice house, a wonderful husband and you are slaving away teaching snot-nosed children their ABCs. [He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is]. Looks like rain. Green hair? So give me more cake! It's a good thing I have my library. You're better off raising tomatoes. But I . Smells chocolatey, eh? National Green Hair Day! Yes. Lights up. Amanda Thripp: With her, it's all "books" and "stories". And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. Matilda: Is a miracle! MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. If you became ill, heaven forbid, your doctor would be a college graduate. Zinnia Wormwood: A bell rings. Bambinatum! I don't want another one. 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. Wonderful. I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. 40 Dirty & Funny Pick-Up Lines - PsyCat Games MISS HONEY enters and turns away in shock. I can't find his frank 'n' beans! MRS WORMWOOD puts a number on RUDOLPHO's back as though they are competing in a dancing competition. You can adopt me. BIG KIDS My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. My mummy says I'm a miracle. You can be all cynical, . Try to be funny, or clever, or both! Thought you'd pay me back, didn't you? Yes, sir. He's going to blow. BRUCE . Leave it alone, Jenny. It's the female minor. 'Twas written in the stars before they even met. MRS WORMWOOD Matilda: And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. MATILDA Aaaargh! Mr Wormwood! Agatha Trunchbull. Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. She re-enters carrying two square blocks, one larger than the other. Is there still time for the Bi-Annual Inter-Championship Amateur Sausage . [appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob] The reason the mileage is so high is a manufacturing mistake.". The end is happier. "A contract was signed to perform this feat, and perform this feat you shall! No, not there! What can I do? Zinnia Wormwood: Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. ", MATILDA and the ACROBAT'S SISTER [off-stage] [picks up two bowls of cereal] stream The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. No, Miss Trunchbull. RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. BIG KID [BEN] Was it magic? Mr. Wormwood: You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. MRS PHELPS No one is as handsome, strong as me. MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. The sooner you're locked up in that school, the better. Dearest pie, how old is Matilda? And if you want to make the team, DOCTOR . MRS WORMWOOD Ladies and gentlemen! . Two, three, four. But time is the one thing no one is master of. Maybe. I didn't do anything! . ], MISS HONEY No one's going to listen if you don't shout. A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. There's nothing to fear. Trunchbull: Bruce! I have never been able to understand why small children are so disgusting. Or even two, Bruce, I didn't do it. Find the bally line and toe it, 9. Sit down. A bell rings. We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. Jul 25, - Barney Stinson's Harry Potter pick up lines. BIG KIDS See who wins. MATILDA enters from her bedroom. See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? 2. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 612 792] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> [yells] Mum, would you like to hear a story? You have to stay inside the circle all the time. Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? This means that pick-up lines are all about first impressions. Mum says I'm a good case for population control. Er, what books did you read? MATILDA MISS TRUNCHBULL We can't leave valuable packages sitting out on the doorstep. Crazy Credits Let's leave maths for the time being . I'm sorry, doctor. "Right"? And then, my great, big, beautiful chocolate-y burp, which now seemed to have a mind of its own, wafted full into the face of the Trunchbull! Who would be here to sign for the packages? Get in the car, Melinda! "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. Twelve times two is twenty-four. Million $ Sticky Host: RUDOLPHO One of the novel's antagonists, Mr. Wormwood is Matilda and Michael 's father, and Mrs. Wormwood 's husband. NIGEL leans forward in concentration and groans in agony several times. I'll come back later, then. Shift you! The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. 3. But learning a language is over the top . MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. MISS HONEY Don't hide it under a bushel. [He takes out a cigar and takes hold of the baby.] Cover yourself in chocolate glory! Agatha Trunchbull: I think in effect, Don't be pathetic! MATILDA . I love it here! People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart, she resented the sister, both her success and her love. You're the spitting image. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. Like hell! Don't take me to Chokey! But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. . RUDOLPHO whips off MRS WORMWOOD's skirt to reveal a shorter skirt made of tassels beneath it. Yes! Trunchbull: MATILDA sits down reading a book. Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! He loves having me around. endobj Best dirty pick-up lines 1. Yep! One look at my face and it's plain to see. What is this, a hot tub party? Just write. MATILDA Sorry, Miss Trunchbull. Look at mummy. They dance to the same routine until MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO overtake them with more complicated choreography. Now: Matilda Pick Up Lines - jouou.rocks You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. Michael: The first car your brilliant father sold cost $320. The novel has an inspirational message that everyone can stand up for themselves against bullies like Matilda does against Mrs. Trunchbull. Eight times two is sixteen. Four COUPLES, crouched down behind the table, begin to stand and speak. Are they good runners? RUDOLPHO You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? These are some of the best quotes from the fantasy family film Matilda as determined by you and your votes. Yes. A little less brains, a lot more hair. What am I? MISS HONEY A table with the word "Contest" emblazoned on the side is wheeled in. Would you like some milk? She stops in triumph. They are all dressed in costume: Eric as Batman, Tommy as the . . Psst! Cheesy Valorant Agent Pick-Up Lines : r/VALORANT - reddit The gate rolls away. [He sits down in a zen position.]. It's time you learned the family business. [cutting off Harry's hat with scissors] MATILDA gazes at their dramatic display non-chalantly and holds out a palm to them. 13. I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. CHILDREN . She says if I'm keen, I have to cut down on the cream, And . That's the bananas right there. MR WORMWOOD exits. Matilda is a very intelligent and determined young girl appearing in the Roald Dahl children's book of the same name. And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Perhaps I'll wait. Are you going to tell me a story or not? Harry Wormwood: It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. Matilda: Mr. Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! Lovekins, where's my breakfast? I'm fed up with all this reading! I have all these extra. I've got a plane to catch at three. Mrs. Wormwood: Matilda: Nothing will change. The hat rack is taken away. MRS PHELPS This one was mine. You could have heard a fly burp. Good show. ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] Yes, wonderful. Harry Wormwood: Dance competition's over. That makes me so happy. Yes. Keep out of reach of children. Fifteen times two is thirty. Someone told her I did it, but I never! And this . DOCTOR Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. 2. What have I told you about wearing pigtails? Don't tell me. . Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. Are you listening? If you want to throw the hammer for your country. "I don't have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts.". MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. Matilda: Most parents believe their children are the most beautiful creatures ever to grace the planet. MISS TRUNCHBULL . WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED? The more that you try, 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Tomorrow at one? So innocent I asked a thousand questions. Agatha Trunchbull: Harry Wormwood: Mrs. Wormwood: I love my school. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. You are going to march in there and give them a piece of your mind. MISS TRUNCHBULL The ACROBAT enters from the back of the stage, and the ESCAPOLOGIST takes her by the hand. You said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. And that's not right! I don't know. MATILDA hides the glue behind her back as MR WORMWOOD enters. It's Miss Honey. So, what is it? Matilda: Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. Please! . As a huge cloud of chocolate-y gas wafted from my mouth and drifted across the class. And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. MISS TRUNCHBULL You have to put it right . MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. Just because you find that life's not fair, it <> How about this. PERSPERATION! But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. She laughs. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. You fool! Matilda. Roald Dahl (1988) | by Opening lines from children's books [walking out of the room excitedly] Hup, two, four, free. That such frequent miracles don't render each one un-miraculous? Specialness is de rigueur. You see, he fell asleep, and we put him under the coats for safety. Matilda Wormwood is an exception . You make money? [everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]. 18 Best Pick-Up Lines Ever (Cheesy, Dirty, Funny, Cute & Romantic) Well? MISS TRUNCHBULL It was like the entire world went silent for that They line up at the back of the stage. Boys and girls! That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball. Harry Wormwood: The police decided he killed himself. 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. And children in the bottom class aren't really expected to read. No one's going to look if you don't stand out. You can read words. | [He throws the phone to the lackey.] Hello! MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. Stood! (Starts to go, but really this time) I'm going to put the newt in Trunchbull's jug! Agatha Trunchbull: Is a miracle! All grown-ups get scared, just like children. . And today is a very special day: your first day of school! Dosvedoo-dah. When the hinges creak and the door is closed, Miss Honey: Then get out of town. . She holds up the final "10". MATILDA collects the remains of her book. 1. . How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here? She'll call a truce, Bruce. RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. 3 0 obj Yes! Come in, come in, whoever you are. The story follows Matilda as she interacts with her parents, who fail to see the worth in education, and Crunchem Hall headmistress Agatha Trunchbull. MATILDA Oh, my lovely hair! What? MR WORMWOOD The desks descend into the ground. The tiniest mite packs the mightiest sting. She opens a book. [loses it, to Matilda] Oh, yes, she's definitely advanced! But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. Absolute silence. [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] Excellent man. . Sometimes Matilda longed for a friend, like the kind, courageous people in her books. Mrs. Wormwood: But here it is, coming true: I have the adoption papers. I got carried away. "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt Just one more bite and you'll've completely cooked her goose. 101 Weird & Best Pick Up Lines For Girls (Make Them Laugh!) My mommy thinks they're sweet. But Harry's ranting and raving gave Matilda the key to her power. Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. Not dressed in hospital cotton, [as Harry switches on Matilda's lamp] Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. Behind MR WORMWOOD and MATILDA, the scene changes from a living room to MATILDA's bedroom. A really strong stomach. MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. The condition is characterised by the sufferer experiencing bouts of chronic fatigue, and falling suddenly asleep, often without knowing, or any warning at all. Miss Honey: WOMAN: Smile for mummy! You're being pathetic! See! You have got to be What is your name? Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. Come on, Bruce, be our hero. ALICE and HORTENSIA The moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. [She takes a mirror from the armchair.] MR WORMWOOD enters with a lackey, who sits on a tyre behind him. NIGEL [accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water] MISS TRUNCHBULL One look at my face and it's plain to see. 4. I'm not crying because it's sad. I am FULLwhen and onlywhen the Headmistress says I am FULL. Oh no, Headmistress. I'm the best! MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. . The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. Not yet, anyway. [looking at a portrait of her father] TOMMY Put your light on. We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. You really don't know anything, do you? It's your father who's going to federal prison. Who you been talking to? MR WORMWOOD Why would you want to read when you got the television set sitting right in front of you? "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! in a week. Or maybe your largeness Harry Wormwood: . This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. MRS WORMWOOD walks out from behind the curtain, heavily pregnant. The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. She holds the hat out to him. and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. AAAAAAAHHHH! endobj Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! She didn't know. MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. Babies! MR WORMWOOD Where is the maggot known as Nigel? She's reading a book. Whatever you do, just don't give in. What am I gonna do? 3. The cars will break down. If I let this little girl fall? MRS WORMWOOD Oh, it's nothing like that. Agatha Trunchbull: Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Miss Honey: No. Harry Wormwood: "It is called," said the husband, announcing the event to the world's press, who had gathered to listen with bated breath [The voice of the ESCAPOLOGIST echoes her words.] You seem to think that people like people what are clever. [TV Version] I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; DOCTOR One way or another, though, every human being is unique, for better or for worse. Narrator: MRS PHELPS Restores my faith in human kind. Great, big, strong, scary woman she is. Extra strong. ALL COUPLES: What? MISS TRUNCHBULL Now EAT IT! Do you have a job? 20. That's all right, Jenny. . MATILDA ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE I swear, I won't take our love for granite. [snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover]. Well, I shall take your money when you earn it, and I shall spend it. MATILDA What are you talking about? | Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. BIG KIDS Or - or say you were sued for selling a faulty car. Yes, Miss Trunchbull! MR WORMWOOD Hand's shaking. [to Nigel] When did this happen? It's out of the question. It's been clear there's no peer for a miracle like me. 330+ Best Pickup Lines Funny, Cheesy, Cute & Bad - iAMHJA That's the main thing. Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. MRS WORMWOOD and MICHAEL down sit in armchairs. Between you and it, His fingie. From a book in the library. See you next week. You should stay out of trouble, . Pathetic, little me. NIGEL The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. You're off to school in a few days' time. Mr. Wormwood: Smile for mummy, smile for mother. MATILDA "You Must Be Worried Now That Donald Trump is President Because He Would Deport You Back to Heaven." No, sir. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. The second one cost $512. No. I'll say! The guy with the stupid haircut! What do you think might be the cause of this? Just because you find that life's not fair, it Yes! Of course I am. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! Suddenly, out came the Escapologist, dressed as usual in his tights and spangly costume. I should be wearing in the semi-finals tonight! You cannot see squat . MRS WORMWOOD Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal.